yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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