She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
