Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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