It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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