Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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