Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
