The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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