Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
