Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
