My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
