We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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