How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize