how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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