Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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