I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize