I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
