You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
