I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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