May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
