I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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