Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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