I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
