thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize