So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
