i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
