Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm always down for nudity.
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