The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
