yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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