I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
