I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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