Where did you get a picture of my penis
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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