Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
