google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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