don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
that's an acceptable place to lick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
