It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize