one two three fourrrrnication!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Nobody cheats on THIS.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
