He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
