i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he shaved USA in his pubs
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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