who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
