im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
