If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
