Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
