he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
