What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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