I hope mine doesn't look like that
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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