Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
