Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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