**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
