I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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