Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
