i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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