I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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