I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
