my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
