Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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