I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
These tits shall not be calmed
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