Quick, to the slutcave!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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