is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
