love makes seman taste better
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are we still banned from the library?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
