What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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