Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Every concussion has its silver lining
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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