I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize